Multiply Disciples by Serving in their Love Language
David Broodryk Reflections Part 4
By Lim MY
Photo by Johaer on Unsplash
David Broodryk has been on a long journey into discipleship movements and seeking to see cities impacted by and for Jesus. He and his team now serve teams and leaders in cities all over the world. He recently spent time with several Asian city teams as part of the Urban Wheat Project. Over a series of blog posts I will share some key highlights and reflections from our time together.
Having a call to a particular affinity group and compassion for their brokenness is just the first step in the journey.
We stand on the outside, looking in. But what is our reason for being at their doorway?
Fortunately, Jesus showed us His way into the lives of individuals and communities who had little in common with Him. He was a master at meeting people where they were. With the disciples, Jesus talked about being fishers of men. With Nicodemus, He talked about being born again. With the woman at the well, He talked about living water.
He had conversations that were relevant to them, and described the kingdom to them in a language they understood. And that was what drew them in.
Serving those who are broken calls for an entry into their lives, more so if the brokenness runs deep. This access will be less rough when we possess the unique passcode of the group - their “love language”.
The term, “love language,” has become synonymous with Gary Chapman who described five “languages” people use give and receive love - words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. His main point was how love is communicated more effectively when we give love the way others “hear” it best.
Similarly, as we engage and serve communities or affinities it is important to understand what they will value and appreciate, and meet them there.
What if we could speak in a way that reaches the hearts of those whom we serve?
Small Coffee Shop Beginnings
When David and his wife moved to a new city four years ago, they made up their mind to be actively practising what they have been teaching. They prayed over a few weeks, asking God to show them who He was putting on their hearts. Who were the people their hearts were breaking for? Both of them arrived at the same answer - they wanted to reach out to young men and women between the ages of 18 and 35.
There was just one roadblock. Though the couple had years of experience, they were nowhere near “young”. They realised that they didn’t quite know how to connect with these youth. So David made it his goal to learn. He tried dressing like them, learning their language and speaking like them, trying to ‘be cool’… but it was getting him nowhere and embarrassing his family, who eventually convinced him to stop.
But he could see the need in this group and continued to wrestle with the challenge of how to reach out to these young ones.
Then something finally clicked in David’s mind as one need stood out among the young adults in the community:there was a deep hunger for fathers and a lot of confusion around life direction and purpose.
This was what he was looking for! !
If there was one thing he could do, it was to be a father to these youth! After all, he had done that for his own children. As he reflected more, he recognised that one of his biggest strengths with his kids had been helping them find their purposes in their lives, their careers, the paths they should take.
Seeking them out :
As David pondered over the young people who had no idea what to do with their lives, he knew this was a doorway to their brokenness that he could enter.
Now he had to find spaces where his life and their lives were naturally connected. Many of them were in the universities, but that was not a natural space for David.
Connecting authentically :
Another flash of insight - David liked coffee! And many of the young people worked in cafes as waiters and waitresses.
He now had his connection approach and so David began going to the same coffee shop, day after day and began looking for the waiters and waitresses who were spiritually open, or in whom he sensed God working. With each visit, David began to intentionally create opportunities for conversation.
But what would be a wise approach?
Being curious and paying attention :
Certainly not a “call to repentance” at this point!
David began conversations about their goals and dreams.
He was genuinely curious about the young person he had chosen to talk to, and would ask, “Tell me, what dreams do you have? What do you want to do in the future?”
With some sincere interest and gentle probing, the youth would open up. And curiosity would get the better of them so they might respond by asking David back, "Who are you?". To which David would offer a simple, sincere reply - “I’m just someone who loves to help others fulfil their dreams.“.
Inviting boldly :
This often flowed naturally into an invitation to further discussion, “Can we chat more about that? Would you like to have a longer coffee sometime?”
Listening actively :
One of the first young adults who responded to David’s invitation was a waitress named Sally. David’s wife joined the chats. They slowly moved on to answer Sally’s questions by looking at Scripture. Slowly but surely, Sally found what she was looking for and came to Jesus.
The Impact of Serving in Their Love Language
Similar stories happened with other young people. This group of young disciples has grown to over 20.
The group members have experienced a recurring cycle of building relationships, getting to know people, moving towards areas of brokenness and need, engaging in conversations and supporting through life growth that led to them taking leadership in their circles. David has had the joy of seeing groups of young adults grow in their lives and following Jesus, and multiplying.
Simply beginning with conversations at coffee shops and learning a valuable art in the process.
As David’s story demonstrates, we can better engage a group of people and multiply disciples when we serve in the love language of those we are called to.
For Reflection
1) Jesus had spiritual conversations with people in a way that drew them towards Himself? What can we learn from Him in John 3:1-21, John 4:1-26 and Luke 5:1-11?
2) Where is the natural intersection between the needs of the groups God has called you to, and your own personal interests and abilities?
3) What skill(s) are you lacking and/or would help you engage with this group more effectively?
Discipling the Urban Harvest provides practical insights and encouragement to walk with God in multiplying discipleship in an increasingly urban world - growing as children of the Father, serving the communities He has called us to, and discipling those hungry to know Him.